He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
