I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
