got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
