So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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