Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
