Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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