People with herpes should wear stickers.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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