does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
