What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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