He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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