woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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