everyone is single if you try hard enough
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
