her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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