It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
