Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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