Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
