She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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