Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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