I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
