i permit you to call me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
