How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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