I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
