HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
