Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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