Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
