he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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