Im at strip club and am horny
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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