Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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