i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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