Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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