My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
