somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize