Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
