doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
