I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
