Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
