At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
