oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
