I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
