He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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