I heard we made out
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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