why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
