I just made out with a guy for $7.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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