You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
