What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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