I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
