Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
