I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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