okay pat passed out under dana's car
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
they're like a gay fantastic four
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
