his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
