maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
