You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
