She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
