guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
