omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize