what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
