I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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